Dull, Dark, and Dumb
Doom carries on the proud tradition of terrible video game movies. It’s bad, folks. Real bad. Most offensive, it basically does nothing to harness the insanity of the property that inspired it.
This is a Doom movie in name only. Sure, the BFG is in it, sort of; and there are hellacious creatures. They are just mostly uninspired fare. Well, maybe they’re inspired, but you can’t see them because the whole film is so dark.
Outside of the first-person shooter scene, which channels the spirit of the game excellently, this thing is as boring as they come. With a poor script, trope-tastic characters, and aimless direction, Doom opened the portal to hell for anyone dumb enough to pay to see it. Anecdotally, McCheese and I were two of the dolts who did.
Worse than offending your average moviegoer, it grossed a dismal $58.7 million on a budget of $65 million; and it was battered by critics. It took such a beating—18% on Rotten Tomatoes with 138 reviews—not even “God Mode” could save it.
Anyway, sit back, use your chainsaw to open a Liquid Poem Double IPA from Stone Brewing Co., and don’t get stuck in the nano-wall! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Capt. Cash, Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are priming the BFG (to shoot absolutely nothing)!
This Week’s Segments:
- Introduction/Plot Breakdown – Doom, like most movies based on video games, doesn’t capitalize on the property. (00:00)
- Lingering Questions – The Double Turn Podcast unveils what the Rock is cooking, and then we discuss what could’ve fixed this disaster. (47:20)
- The “BFG” Trivia Challenge – Mayor McCheese challenges the field to a series of trivia questions about the game that inspired the movie. (1:03:03)
- Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue “Hops and Rock Bottom Flops” with Walking Tall! (1:13:20)