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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘GANGSTER SQUAD’
La La Confidential Gangster Squad never equals the sum of its parts. Featuring a stacked cast—Sean Penn, Josh Brolin, Ryan Gosling, and Emma Stone, to name a few—it’s never more than a middling mob flick. And that’s a problem. Why? Well, there are dozens of films in this genre, many of which capitalize on their premise far more than this does. Gangster Squad is essentially a 21st Century Untouchables without any of the style or substance that made that movie so great. Thus, despite strong efforts from the aforementioned cast, the material is never elevated. Hence why critics hated it, 30% on Rotten Tomatoes with 207 reviews; and audiences avoided it. On a budget of…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘PREY’
Do Not Kill the Dog Prey reignites the Predator franchise in the best ways possible. It’s more contained—focusing on the story and characters, rather than feeling the need to go bigger. It’s the hit the series desperately needed. After a slew of middling to outright mediocre sequels (and sidequels), Prey optimizes the formula for the alien hunter’s antics. It takes the creature back in time—the northwest plains in 1719—and utilizes the incredible landscapes to set a tone and atmosphere the films have been missing. This is Naru’s journey just as much as it is the Predator’s. She, like the extraterrestrial, is out to prove herself. That is the heartbeat of the movie—one woman’s quest to…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘PREDATORS’
Crazy Larry’s Den of Alien Antiquities Predators is the ideal set up for a sequel to the 1987 original. It includes a cast of eclectic mercenaries being pursued by the titular create. Only this time, there are three of them, and it’s on their home turf. Yes, Predators takes us back to lush jungles, which, honestly, are a much more interesting backdrop for the hunt than either LA or a small town. Yet, the setting is not the only good idea this movie brings to the table. You’ve got a Predator blood feud; the conceit that all the nefarious characters dropped into this scenario are on a game preserve; and the loony survivor…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘THE PREDATOR’
Leaking Spinal Fluid Fans of the franchise, like us, now doubt had high hopes for Shane Black’s The Predator. Black, who’d appeared in the original as Hawkins and even served as a script doctor on set, is a legend of action movie scriptwriting. The Predator, unfortunately, fails in almost every way. The humor is overwritten and overstuffed; the characters are thin and generally unlikeable; the plot makes no sense; and the scars of tumultuous reshoots are painfully evident. The third act seems to connect to an entirely different movie. That makes sense because they did have to reconfigure the whole thing after poor test screenings. But, it renders The Predator a film with no…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘PREDATOR 2’
Pred Harder Predator 2 isn’t a bad movie; it’s just a disappointing one. That’s mainly because it pales in comparison to its predecessor, failing to up the ante in any meaningful way. Sure, there is more gore and curse words, but the narrative is a mess. Predator 2 is just an amalgamation of better movies from the genre with the adversarial alien added to the mix. That works just enough for it not to be a total disaster. But, its failure at the box office can certainly be attributed to its slapdash plot and haphazard direction. Aside from a missing in action Arnold, the most glaring weaknesses of Predator 2 are in the execution of…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘THE ALAMO’
Remember It The Alamo, directed by John Lee Hancock, is a historical look at the tragic storming of the mission turned fort in 1836 Texas. Though the film boasts incredible sets, well shot historical action, and a wonderful ensemble, it was a box office dud. In fact, it is one of the biggest bombs in history, losing an estimated $146 million. That’s nearly 10 Louisiana Purchases. Critics didn’t help its prospects. Sitting at 29% on Rotten Tomatoes with 159 reviews, their consensus was unkind. We, unfortunately, have to agree. Outside of Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett, 2004’s The Alamo is bereft of personality. It doesn’t help that the film is attempting…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘THE LAST DUEL’
Misogynistic Gladiators Ridley Scott’s The Last Duel depicts the final trial by combat in 14th Century France. The titular duel involved Knight Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon) and Squire Jacques le Gris (Adam Driver), battling over le Gris’ alleged rape of Carrouges’ wife Marguerite (Jodie Comer). Yes, folks, this is a heavy movie, but it is also a very good one. The sets, the costumes, the acting—which includes a wonderfully sleezy performance from Ben Affleck as Count Pierre d’Alençon—and the action are all top notch. This is Scott at the top of his historical storytelling game. Sadly, though, The Last Duel flopped. Hard. As in, it lie dying as an angry Matt Damon…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘ALMOST HEROES’
Drinking Has Its Benefits Almost Heroes is the final leading role of comedy legend Chris Farley. Five months prior to its release, he tragically died of an overdose. With that dark cloud hanging over the film, it’s not altogether surprising it suffered at the box office. On a budget of $30 million, it grossed just $6.1 million. Its 5% rating on Rotten Tomatoes probably didn’t help either. For fans of Farley’s work, though, there are things to be enjoyed about Almost Heroes. His trademark high energy and willful disregard for his body on are full display; and the gags are often quite comical as a result. So, Almost Heroes may not be peak Farley,…
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Hops and BOX Office Flops: ‘KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD’
Arthur Begins King Arthur: Legend of the Sword is a dramatic reimagining of the Arthurian legend. It is also evokes much of its director’s hallmark traits. This is Guy Ritchie’s take on King Arthur, for better and for worse. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword was a gamble. Budgeted at $175 million and with five sequels planned, WB had franchise desires in mind for it. With that much at stake, it’s odd they would butcher the edit of the film. Legend of the Sword, for all its insane visuals and Ritchie flair, is a narrative mess. It zooms from plot point to plot point, replacing essential connective tissue with bizarrely narrated montages.…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘DRACULA DEAD AND LOVING IT’
Mister, Mister Dracula Dead and Loving It is a typical Mel Brooks movie. It’s a spoof of Bram Stoker’s Dracula that’s light on plot, but full of goofy gags and childish humor. Unfortunately, it lacks the biting wit of most Brooks films. Despite the unending charms of comedy legend Leslie Nielsen, who portrays the titular Count, too many of the jokes simply do not land. Critics tend to agree. At 11% on Rotten Tomatoes with 37 reviews, Dracula Dead and Loving It is far from peak Brooks. Sure, there are subtle hints of his brilliance, but not enough to make it stand out. Hence why it also flopped, grossing a woeful $10.7 million…
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