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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK’
It’s an Animal Thing The Chronicles of Riddick is the big budget sequel to 2000’s more reasonably priced and plotted Pitch Black. Both feature Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel), a wanted ex-con and master of navigating the dark. He’s an anti-hero—a man who has done bad things, but who we root for because of his devil may care attitude. It was an archetype that worked perfectly in Pitch Black, as well as the third film in the series Riddick. The problem with The Chronicles of Riddick—problems rather—is the sheer size of the story they are attempting to insert him into. Chronicles is a full-on space opera. There are prophecies, warlords, intrigue, and treachery. It’s a lot;…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘MORTAL KOMBAT’
A Head Smashing Good Time Mortal Kombat marks the return of the legendary video game franchise to the big screen for the first time in 24 years. Considering its wild success on consoles, the gap is hard to fathom. Certainly Annihilation sort of poisoned the well, but the 1995 original remains popular, as does its techno theme song. The one thing most would agree on, though, is that 95’s lack of an R-rating kept it from truly being a Mortal Kombat film. That is no longer an issue. 2021’s film boats buckets of blood, and gruesome fatalities that are as true to the game as is probably acceptable for theaters. This is the adaptation die…
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MORTAL KOMBAT REVIEW: Rated M for Mediocre
It’s been 24 years since Mortal Kombat: Annihilation committed cinematic franchise Harakiri. In that span, there have been 11 entries in the video game series. I owned them all and the less said about a few of them, the better; but that’s not really the point of all this. We’re here to discuss Mortal Kombat. It’s finally back, and it’s actually brutal this time. That is one positive amongst a plethora of the not-so because the “M” in the title could just as easily have stood for muddled or messy or even mindless. Before we address those alliterative adjectives, let’s start at the beginning. Bi-Han/Sub-Zero (Joe Taslim) murders Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘FIGHT CLUB – I am Jack’s Podcast’
Fight Club hasn’t aged well. And that’s putting it mildly. It wasn’t that David Fincher and company didn’t have something to say. Certainly, they did. It’s more that the message is muddled and often lost amidst the overpowering stardom of Brad Pitt. You cast a movie star, you get a virtuoso performance. That’s generally not an issue, but when the character is meant to represent the reprehensible, a conundrum ensues. Pitt’s Tyler Durden is a false prophet; we’re not supposed to think he’s cool; and his ramblings—though hovering around actual facts—are not meant to inspire. Most viewers are aware of this, but for some, that meaning was lost. Thus, the dangerous…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ‘PACIFIC RIM – A Jaeger Bomb’
Pacific Rim is Guillermo del Toro’s homage to the Kaiju movies that fascinated him in his youth. To that end, it is a lovingly crafted and often beautiful film that delivers on the promise of its premise. What is the conceit? Well, in short, Jaegers—giant Earth-protecting mechs—fight invading Kaiju who emerge from a rift within the Pacific Ocean. And for all the movie’s foibles—the plot has many—it does nail it’s most defining element. The fights, in fact, are so visually dazzling that it makes the laborious human moments with wooden Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam) all the more painful. Speaking of those foibles, the humans—not just poor Raleigh—encompass a host of them.…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: GODZILLA VS KONG – Coming to a Universal Studios Near You
Godzilla vs Kong is a historic rivalry, yet it has been 59 years since these two giants of cinema last traded blows. That seems far too long, but fortunately for the “Monsterverse,” the timing couldn’t have been better. In our King of the Monsters (KotM) episode, Chumpzilla and I were bullish about the future of this series. We knew this movie would at least be made, but short of a miraculous run, KotM had sullied the stock. Turns out, we were wrong. In less than a week Godzilla vs Kong has grossed over $300 million worldwide, already nearing its predecessors totals. This comes amidst an ongoing global pandemic. Its reviews have also far surpassed that of KotM. It sits at…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: HULK – The Incredible Sulk
Ang Lee’s Hulk is ponderous—absurdly so—and mostly revolves around the gruesome father/son relationship between Bruce (Eric Bana) and David Banner (Nick Nolte). Reportedly, Lee wanted the film to evoke the weighty emotions of a Greek tragedy. It certainly does generate a palpable response, but it’s apathy. For a movie whose title character is a big, green, rage monster, the Hulk is seldom seen for the first hour. When he does show up, he’s relegated to fighting mutant poodles with a penchant for crotch attacks. Now, I’m not saying this movie wasn’t ambitious because it certainly was. Unfortunately, all its aspirations are for naught; and it all amounts to little more than odd familial drama…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE – Little Fish Stick and Big Tuna
Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a cinematic anomaly. When Snyder had to step away due to a family tragedy, Warner Bros. (WB) essentially hacked the material he left them to bits. Under the guidance of Joss Whedon, Snyder’s originally footage was morphed into a soulless attempt to capture the magic of the MCU. It didn’t work—a topic we explored in-depth on our Joss-Stache League episode. That film appealed to no one, but it particularly riled those faithful to Snyder’s vision. Thus, #ReleaseTheSnyderCut was born—a fan movement spawned from the betrayal many felt the studio had committed. Make no mistake, folks, this movie is a whole new beast. From Steppenwolf’s arc to Darkseid’s ominous presence to…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: GHOST RIDER SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE – Ride Angry
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, which is a sequel to the 2007 original, is so insane it almost works. Nicolas Cage, the Rider or Johnny Blaze, goes full Cage. It’s equal parts glorious and dumbfounding. That is the movie in a nutshell. For everything that works—such as the Rider possessing humongous construction equipment—there are far too many other elements that do not. From the dude from Empire Records overacting literally every piece of dialogue to Idris Elba’s mindbogglingly bad French accent, there are just far too many palm face moments. That said, it is better than the first—despite what the reviews (18% on Rotten Tomatoes with 114 reviews) and the…
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Hops and Box Office Flops: JOSS-STACHE LEAGUE – Stiff Upper Lip
Joss-stache League (Justice League) is a cobbled together mess. It’s the Frankenstein’s monster of movies. I wish that were an understatement, but, sadly, it is not; and though it bears Zack Snyder’s name in the credits, it is not his movie. According to Fabian Wagner, the original cut’s cinematographer, up to 90% of what they shot is not in it. That’s right, folks: In under two months, Joss Whedon basically reshot the entire thing. Why? Well, the answer to that is long, winding, and even filled with heartbreak. To keep it brief, the studio was no longer in support of Zack’s vision. When Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice failed to break a…
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