What’s Worst in Life?
2011’s Conan the Barbarian is as bad of a reboot of a classic film as you are going to find. It’s just a mess, folks.
Its script is often witless, contradicting itself multiple times; and its cast—as distinguished as some of their careers may be—just don’t fit the roles. Worst of all, Jason Mamoa, who plays the titular hero, just didn’t appear ready to bear the weight of Conan‘s broad sword.
As much as the filmmakers purported they wanted to channel the writings of Robert E. Howard, creator of Conan the Barbarian, it more shamelessly robs better films.
It should come as no surprise then that this was a massive flop. Budgeted at $90 million, it grossed just over $63 million, snubbing any chances of a sequel. Critics, like audiences, were also unkind. With 152 reviews, it sits at 25% on Rotten Tomatoes (User Score of 30%).
We do get a decapitation and an impalement, though, so it got the violence mostly right. Let’s toast to that!
Now sit back, hack open a Wizard Staff IPA from Two Brothers Brewing, and enjoy your launch from the trebuchet! I, the Thunderous Wizard (@WriterTLK), Chumpzilla, and Mayor McCheese are living, loving, and slaying the night away!
This Week’s Segments:
- Introduction/Plot Breakdown – The Conan reboot is a soulless slog. (00:00)
- Lingering Questions – After a word from last week’s guests, Hop Nation USA, we attempt to determine whether the Mask of Acheron is more off-putting than the pie from Thinner. (33:35)
- The “The Mystery of Steel” Trivia Challenge – The Double Turn Podcast hits you with an elbow drop from the top, and then I challenge the field to a series of questions about the movie. (52:02)
- Recommendations – We offer our picks for the week and next up: We continue “Hops and Fantasy Flops” with Krull. (1:00:21)