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FLASH SPOILER Review: Episode 2×13 – “Welcome to Earth-Two”

The Flash
(2×12 ) –
“Welcome to Earth-2”
Written by: Katherine Walczak
Directed by: Millicent
Shelton   
Okay!  So coming back from last week’s episode
Barry, Cisco and Dr. Wel-
Huh… Déjà vu
Anyway,
coming back from last week’s episode Barry, Cisco and Dr. Wells are getting for
the trip to Earth-2 and wrapping up some loose ends.  For Wells that means big science guns while
for Barry and Cisco it means closing the other fifty breaches leaving on the
one under STAR Labs.
Barry then
heads back to the West Home for a lasagna dinner with coffee and tag team guilt
trips for dessert.  I’m being a little
unfair of course, Barry is taking a huge risk and it could look to Iris and Joe
like he’s not in his right mind after he chased off Patty… 
Every time I
think of how happy we could all be if Patty was still here it just makes me
want to punch Barry Allen right in-
It’s okay…
The next day
at STAR Labs, Jay Garrick is explaining all the rules for interdimensional
travel: Don’t get distracted. Things are different. Don’t get attached.  It is forbidden for you to interfere in human
history, Kal-El.  We’re going to tease
upcoming crossovers.  The usual
stuff.  Barry replies by giving Jay and
Caitlin a forty-eight hour window.  If
they don’t come back it’s because Zoom has him and they must close the breach.  Meanwhile, Cisco asks Caitlin to contact his
family if the worst happens.
And of
course, as soon as Barry takes them through the breach the speed cannon pulls
that same old trick the Transporters on the Starship Enterprise pulled.  It sparks up and comes apart.  But Barry and Cisco don’t know this, they’re
too busy acting like tourists on Earth-2. 
Complete with wide-eyed looks of wonder, selfies and what trip to
Earth-2 would be complete without a visit from Earth-2 Henry Hewitt?  Now with 64% less evil!
In Dr.
Wells, the trio tune into the “Convenient News Network” (That’s right
Convenient News Network: No media bias, just pure convenient news for all your
quick plot catch-up and Easter Egg Needs!) and learn that, surprisingly enough,
Zoom has made things worse for Central City since Wells left.
Barry asks
Cisco to Vibe up but he seem to be having some performance anxiety.  It’s not really his fault, Earth-2 vibrates
at a different frequency than Earth-1 and that would cause problems for a power
set that’s tied into that.
Fortunately,
the guys are still watching CNN and we get a glimpse of Earth-2 Barry
Allen.  Bow tie and all, on Earth-2 Barry
seems to be a spokesman for the CCPD and that gives Barry an idea.
Moments
later, Barry brings his Earth-2 counterpart and after letting him fanboy over
Dr. Wells, Barry gives him a taste of a stun gun and reveals his plan.  Barry will take his double’s place and see
what they can learn from the CCPD.
At the
Police Station, Barry is hit with what can only be described as a barrage of
fan-service and Easter Eggs.  The CCPD
mural now hints at the Justice Society, Captain Singh is now a crook with an
evil beard, Deadshot is here but he’s a cop that’s horrible with guns and
lastly Iris is a Detective here. 
Also, it
seems Jay forgot one of the biggest rules of interdimensional travel:  If you have a weird, tense friendship charged
with unresolved sexual tension with your foster sister on Earth-One your double
is probably married to her.  And for the
West-Allen shippers there was a collective “Squee!”
We’ll come
back to this scene in a second but first, we meet Caitlin and Ronnie’s doubles,
aka Killer Frost and Deathstorm, as they rob some bank robbers on behalf of
Zoom.  Deathstorm received word that
someone came through the breach and they have standing orders to kill anyone
that does so.
Back at the
Earth-2 West Home, it seems that this Barry and Iris’ home and we are treated
to much less obtrusive fan service. 
What? No not Candice Patton stripping down to her bra!  I mean the phone call, perverts!
After
getting a good long look at his speed dial which features names like
“Bruce,” “Hal” and “Diana” Barry talks to his
mother and as you might expect, it’s a bit emotional for him considering the
last time he talked to his mother.  So,
while she talks about the tickets he and Iris bought her and Henry to Atlantis,
Barry can barely keep it together.
Back at
E2-STAR Labs, Wells is getting a bit tense while Cisco reveals what I believe
was his real reason for coming to Earth-2; finding his double.  Wells drives home that every moment they’re
looking for Zoom is another moment where Zoom could find them first.
Meanwhile,
Barry and Iris stop in at Jitters which is now a piano bar called
“Jitterbugs” and the featured attraction is Joe West.  After a quick taste of Jesse L. Martin’s
golden voice we see that Joe doesn’t like Barry very much.  Which Barry probably should’ve seen coming
considering he took Joe’s baby girl away from him.
Back at
E1-STAR Labs, Jay and Caitlin are not having the best of luck getting the Speed
Cannon back together and Joe arrives to make things even worse.  It seems there’s a new meta-human on the
scene that Barry hadn’t gotten around to before he left.
The man’s
name is Geomancer and he can make earthquakes. 
To make it even better, he’s calling out the Flash.  Joe has an idea, Jay needs to help them and
to do that he needs to take Velocity Six.
Joe leaves
and Caitlin learns the reason Jay is so against V-6.  On his earth, he created V-6 so he could
increase his speed and it’s killing him. 
The reason he lost his speed is the damage it’s done to him.  Now that she knows what’s wrong, Caitlin vows
to keep Jay alive and fix what V-6 has done to him.
Back at
Jitterbugs, Killer Frost and Deathstorm show up to find their breacher and take
the whole place hostage.  Barry tries to
use his Earth-One knowledge to turn her away from evil but is
unsuccessful.  That’s when Iris pulls her
sidearm and things go downhill fast.  By
the time Barry gets the pair out of the bar to fight, Joe’s been wounded by
Deathstorm. 
He goes back
to Wells and Cisco to recap what’s happened. 
Wells tries to bring Barry back to reality but Barry’s a simple man at
heart.  He protects the people he loves,
no matter the Universe.
When Barry
goes back to the hospital to be with Joe and Iris he’s treated to more Earth-2
heartbreak when Joe says a tearful goodbye to his daughter before surrendering
to his injuries.
Back on
Earth-One, Joe briefs Captain Singh on what he’s learned about Geomancer.  Wally shows up to talk with Joe but unfortunately,
that’s when Geomancer triggers another quake and Singh sends Joe out to deal
with it.
Still in the
Police Station but shifting over to Earth-2, Iris and Deadshot are gearing up
to find Frost and Deathstorm.  Barry
brings in Cisco and some Cisco-tech to take down Killer Frost but Iris doesn’t Barry
out in the field with her after she’s already lost her father.
On
Earth-One, Joe and the CCPD arrive to confront Geomancer.  When they try to get him to surrender,
Geomancer reveals a theory he’s had; The Flash is gone and there’s no one to
stop him.
Sorry
Geomancer, that’s not quite true.  Jay Garrick
hits the scene at full speed, and Earth-One is treated to some Earth-2 Flash
action.  For a moment, at least because
the newly-developed “Velocity-Seven” wears off and so do Jay’s powers.  But while drug-created super powers fade
bullets are forever and Geomancer flees after Joe fires a few.
Iris,
Deadshot and Cisco find Frost and Deathstorm and their friend.  Congratulations, Cisco! You found your double
and as an added bonus, he’s evil!  He
even has an evil version of the name, “Reverb.”  Reverb explains that Cisco is squandering his
powers and with his help he and Cisco could take down Zoom and run Central
City.  Or as Cisco puts it Reverb is
attempting to “Cloud-City Vader” him.
That’s when
Barry shows up and takes on Deathstorm after Iris uses Cisco’s gun to incapacitate
Killer Frost.  Barry’s no match for
Reverb and Deathstorm but before they can kill him, Zoom shows up to
“save” Barry by killing Reverb and Deathstorm before kidnapping
Barry.
Barry finds
himself in a cage in Zoom’s hideout, and it seems Zoom is trying to get the
2016 “Creepiest Villain Hideout” award.  Let’s see: Dark and run down? Check.  Prisoners in tiny Plexiglas cages?
Check.  Weird guy in an iron mask banging
on his cage in what might be Morse code? Check! 
I think we have a contender folks, check back in next week.
So, the
theme I was going to use for the Patty meme for this week’s episode was
supposed to be “Anger.”  I had
intended before watching to take two or three moments that annoyed me a bit and
blow them out of proportion to include the meme and move on.
Then I
watched the episode and frankly, I actually am a little angry.  The episode was rather run of the mill for
the most part.  Using the formula to
press the season-long arc forward and set up the next Flash/Zoom
confrontation.  So judging this week on
that criteria, we have a pretty average episode.
Where the
anger come in is the amount of fan service. 
I don’t hate fan service, quite the contrary, I think playing to your
audience from time to time is a welcome bit of fun provided it’s unobtrusive
and doesn’t become the whole experience. 
The
difference between Barry’s speed dial and the scene in the police station is
with the phone you’re rewards for paying attention and at first you’re getting
the same experience with the Police Station. 
Barry’s bowtie calls back to the Silver Age comics where Barry’s look
wasn’t complete without one. 
Then you see
the police mural has “A Free & Just
Society
” and you smile because on Earth-2 it’s the Justice Society instead of Justice
League.  Then here comes Captain Singh as
a Criminal… Deadshot is a cop with no aim… 
Iris is Detective West and by the time she tells Barry they’re married
on Earth-2 I’m saying to the television “Please stop beating me over the
head with this!”
Unfortunately,
most of the episodes Easter Eggs and fan service moments felt like the Police
Station.  Really by the end of the night
I felt like the cast and crew were looking at the camera and saying “Huh!
Huh! Get it!”
Yes, I got
it.  Now could you actually tell me a
story please? (Go ahead, guess if I liked the Deadpool movie.)
Wrapping up,
I think that this episode will probably be a little more tolerable when paired
with next week’s second part but for now I have to judge it as a stand-alone,
and as a stand-alone episode it doesn’t.
Three Things We
Learned This Week:
1)     
Jay is dying due to abuse of the drug Velocity
Six.
2)     
Cisco can do a hell of a lot more than see the
Multiverse.
3)     
Supergirl
seems to be set on another Earth.
Three Questions:
1)     
Who is the creepy guy in the iron mask?
2)     
What will Zoom do with Jesse now?
3)     
Did E2-Barry send his parents to The Atlantis?

Just another guy on the internet.

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