Samurai Cop Showdown in Little Tokyo is indisputably a bad movie, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a heck of a lot of fun. Starring Dolph Lundgren as Sgt. Chris Kenner and Brandon Lee as his partner Johnny Murata, it desperately wants to be Lethal Weapon. Unfortunately, it lacks the wit, charm, and overall directing acumen that film had. Instead, this is a low budget 90s flick with a seedy aesthetic that rises above its mediocre quality because of some insane, though unintentionally hilarious, scenes. Seriously folks, the way the villain bites it in this movie is one of the all-time great cinema deaths. All that said, this movie tanked. That wasn’t entirely…

Spy Island Double Team is an ill conceived 1997 action film that attempts to capitalize on the waning star power of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dennis Rodman. Though each had experienced much success in their respective careers, this came far after each of their sell by dates. For Van Damme, who stars as Jack Quinn, a series of misses and a well known issue with drugs took their toll. The latter can be said for Rodman, as well. His partying has been well documented. Thus, this was Van Damme’s big attempt at a come back. He needed a win. Rodman, more than likely, was just along for the ride. For the director—Chinese film…

You Still Alive, Smokejumper?! Firestorm, which is essentially Die Hard set amidst a forest fire, is as bad as you’d expect a movie that stars an ex-NFL player to be. That said, it’s still dumb fun, and it is anchored by another deliciously evil turn from William Forsythe. He plays Shaye—an escaped convict who engineered the fire, so he could reclaim his stashed millions. Unfortunately for him, these are Jesse Graves’ woods! Jesse, played as varying degrees of confused by Howie Long, can throw axes super well and knows his way around an inferno. Thus, there is only one possible way for their showdown to end—with Shaye’s head melted by the smoldering…

Mullets and Motorcycles Stone Cold is a perfect piece of 90s cinema. It’s hyper-masculine, nonsensical schlock; and it is glorious. Starring Brian Bosworth—a stud linebacker from Oklahoma University whose injuries derailed his NFL career—Stone Cold chronicles one man’s struggle to bring a gang of degenerate bikers to justice. Yes, it is as awesome as it sounds. And it’s just entertaining enough that one wonders why Bosworth didn’t become more of a thing. After all, the 80s and 90s were littered with sub-par action films and actors. He had the build, and though he wasn’t exactly overflowing with charisma, he still oozed enough cool with his ridiculous haircut/earring combo to warrant better work…